Punishment for not knowing music…

 

A little taste of what goes on at the Saldivar household…

So I’m sitting with Liz on the sofa watching the DVR’d Glee episode when they mention, Simon La Bon.

Yes…I watch Glee…

I innocently look over at my adoring wife and ask, “Who’s Simon La Bon?”

In less than 5 seconds the following events occur:

  • I see the magnificently beautiful brow on my wife furrow…
  • Then she snaps her head to me – eyes locked on her target…
  • I catch a blur of motion as I vaguely register the sight of her “Moma Backhand” racing towards me…
  • My smile doesn’t even have the chance to change to a frown before stars explode in front of me followed by blackness…

Don’t know how long I was down (7…8…9!) but as my vision cleared Liz was standing over me asking why I didn’t know who the lead singer was from DURAN DURAN! 

Shaking off the cobwebs and mumbling, “Em Oka’d, Em Ok..” I get back on the sofa and listen to her half-hearty apologize for clocking me…

“…I just can’t BAH-LEAVE you didn’t know who that was!” Said my musical genius. Then she smiled and jumped to another story…

“You know who’s getting back together? La Franzzz! Remember them?”

Before a sound escapes my lips, I instinctively raised two clenched fists to my face…classic boxer defense strategy…

“Remember protect yourself at all times…” the referee said.

“Uhm….who?” Ready to bop and weave…

“YOU DON’T REMEMBER!?”

Suddenly this smoke filled boxing ring is smaller, my vision begins to blur, I realized I was going down for the count from a barrage of rabbit punches followed by a vicious upper cut…

  • “It was the local 80’s band you and I went to see at the rodeo ON OUR FIRST DATE!”
  • “You took me to the rodeo”
  • “It was freezing cold”
  • “I didn’t want to get on that flying saucer ride but you made me”
  • “Then I got sick”

I start smiling and unconsciously lower my hands as I recount the true story of our first date…oh so many many years ago (25?).

I do remember…

Liz smiles and when she moved closer to snuggle, I flinch – thinking she lured me in by giving me a false sense of security, I was waiting for the upper cut.

But she didn’t…and just smiles as she hugs me.

Over 25 years with this woman and she still has this power over me.

…and okay, all of this is true EXCEPT –  I’m not a battered husband…but I did flinch.

Beto

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